Almost two years after beginning this, I'm returning. Self-disclosure has always been difficult for me, but my blog should be self-disclosing. I have finally retired (at least I think I have). Last December I rolled my retirement money into a variable annuity and began working three days per week (except when I worked more). Because the company had financial problems, this seemed like the perfect solution to both my need to work less and the company's need to reduce its general and administrative costs. Even then, I knew that I was a luxury.

To make a long story short, they eliminated my department (comprising ME) effective April 27. I had more difficulty with this than I had anticipated, because the original plan had been to retire in December 2008. The best laid plans . . . Anyway, I am accustomed to having my very own self make the decision about when to leave an organization. Having someone else take the control was a blow. However, I quickly recovered and departed with dignity.

I intended to quietly ease out the door, but it seems important to a number of other people that I have a retirement reception. So be it. I have made the arrangements and am entitled to 50 invited guests. I'm thinking that there will be more than that.

My work for the last 15 years has been a remarkable ride: sometimes I cantered; sometimes I walked; most often I galloped. I truly loved what I was doing and came to love (if not always like) the people I worked with. Watching the light come on in a face when someone "got it" was a high like few others in my life. I'll miss learning from my classes and miss helping them look at life and work differently.

My work, whether at a job or as a mother, has always consumed me. I always, always wanted to do it right. My errors and omissions interfered with my sleep and other attempts to relax.

Now what can I stress about? My number 1 child is happily married and has given my a second wonderful daughter to love as well as the world's greatest grandchild; my number 2 child is newly engaged and living 1,500 miles away from me. That leaves my husband of almost forty years as my project. Fortunately, he knows how I am and usually accepts it. I figure that in about 20 years we'll have this marriage thing done right (unless endless proximity causes one of us to kill the other).

My department gave me a blank "Book of Me--Autobiography in 201 Questions" as a retirement gift. My darling daughter-in-law suggested that I use this blog as a way to answer those 201 questions, leaving my personal history as a legacy for my children and grandchildren. I think that will work.